Feedback and praise that builds self‑esteem

Be specific, genuine, and process‑focused.

• Instead of “Good job!” try: “You organized your ideas and used two pieces of evidence — that made your point clear.”
• Praise effort and strategies: “You tried three ways before asking for help — smart problem‑solving.”
• Link behavior to values: “You helped Sara clean up without being asked — that shows you care for our class.”
• Use formative feedback often: quick verbal notes, margin comments, and one‑minute written notes telling what improved and next step.

Rewards: use sparingly and smartly

• Avoid promised/tied rewards (carrots on a stick) for learning tasks — these reduce exploration.
• Prefer intrinsic motivators: challenging problems, meaningful tasks, autonomy, competence, relatedness.
• If you use rewards, make them unexpected and small (an impromptu note of thanks, spot recognition) rather than a scheduled payoff.

Teach social skills explicitly
Some students need direct instruction in how to interact.

• Mini‑lessons (10–15 mins) on: asking for help, giving compliments, calming strategies, conflict resolution, how to join a group.
• Use role play, modeling, and peer practice.
• Circle time or community meetings weekly: build shared norms, let students voice concerns, practice restorative questions.

Restorative language and repair
When harm happens, focus on repairing rather than punishing.

Restorative questions:

• What happened?
• Who was affected and how?
• What needs to be done to make this right?
• What will you do differently next time?

This helps rejected/unstable students see consequences as relationship work, not rejection.

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